tying the knot

This year two of my long time single friends are getting hitched. In fact, one did so just yesterday down in Mexico. The other is tying the knot in May. I have known both these ladies for many years, and I have to say it has been very fun to see how excited they both were when they got engaged. It has been a few years since I've had anyone close to me get married, and so I have gotten back into the wedding fever vicariously through them I guess. It's really quite fascinating to watch someone else go through the madness that is getting married. I forgot how consuming it is. Suddenly there is nothing more important than what dress you will wear for example - my one friend fell in love with a dress that she bought, sent us all tons of pics of her in it, and then when she picked it up eventually from the store and tried it on at home was horrified to find that she didn't think she liked it all any more. She shouted to her fiance (she was in her closet trying it on because she was so worried that he might try to peek at her!) whether he thought it might be alright if she bought another dress, and he bravely answered back that it would seriously affect their wedding budget if she did...Anyway, I guess she took it over to her sister's and tried it on in an actual room with her shoes etc and decided it was fine after all, phew. My other friend who got married over the weekend posted a comment in her Facebook status the day before the wedding that she was having some trouble composing her wedding vows. The day before!! Well, she was pretty infamous back in our university days for staying up all night before a final exam to study (I should know, I was often with her), so perhaps she still performs best under pressure.
It got me thinking, what were my vows? What exactly did my dress look like again? In my experience, most brides that I have known don't actually end up remembering all that much about their wedding, it's all such a blur. You worry for months about all the tiny details, hyperventilating over every facet of the big day - what your colours will be, who your guests should be, who will sit with who, what will be your song, what should your favors be, what kind of flowers should you have, oh my god, and then the day comes, and does any of it really matter in the end?
Well, I suppose it does. It IS your wedding day, after all. It SHOULD be special. Because no matter what changes, what happens down the road, whether you stay married happily forever after or not, in that moment, on that day, you are saying to the world that you are willing to give it a try. And that is all a wedding is really about, I think. Two people going out on a limb in front of people they care about, taking a great big leap of faith with each other. Sometimes they don't land well, and sometimes they fly. But you'll never know which it will be if you don't take that deep breath and say "I do."
Besides, who doesn't love a great wedding?? It's definitely not just the happy couple who don't always remember much the next day...!