Wife Savers

I have a friend who recently was asked if she could houseclean for someone once a week. So she agreed to do it, and last week asked if I would be interested in working with her. So I said sure, what the heck, I'll make a few bucks and it fits nicely into my day while the kids are at school. Although I'll be totally honest, I wasn't sure about how I would feel about cleaning some one else's house. So I thought about that for awhile. I suppose it's because - let's be honest - most of us would automatically look down on someone who is a "housecleaner" for a living. I mean isn't it most people's goal in life to attain a standard of living where you can hire someone else to come and clean your house? Not to actually BE the house cleaner yourself. That's a terribly snobby way to think, but I was just trying play devils advocate with myself and be honest. Okay, so there's that. Then there's the idea of being knee deep (so to speak) in someone else's dirt. Was I okay with that? Well, sure, that's what rubber gloves are for, right?  In the end, I decided that I would go ahead with it, and by the time the big day rolled around I was actually feeling somewhat excited - I was really curious to see how I would feel about the whole thing once I was actually there doing it. Would my cleaning abilities even measure up to my friend's? What if I was really a lousy cleaner, I could potentially be exposing myself and revealing what the state of my own house must be - "clean??? You call that CLEAN???" scenarios were running through my head. Anyway, we walked through the house together after we arrived to decide which areas we needed to concentrate on the most, and divvy up who would do what. Then my friend dropped the bomb - apparently the lady of the house's mother in law was flying in from out of town this very evening to come stay for a visit with them. Suddenly the entire job took on a new meaning. We weren't just cleaning house anymore. We felt akin to super heroes, swooping in at the last minute to save the day. Just call us....the Wife Savers. Because let me tell ya, this was not your ordinary untidy house. This was definitely a cleaning product, clutter challenged home. So we turned up the stereo, donned our rubber gloves and went to work. Over the course of the next three hours we cursed, we scrubbed, we boxed up clutter and we sweat. We sweat a lot - who needs the gym, I'd be in great shape if I did this a few times a week! We actually went so far as to do a little home staging for mom in law - a bag of apples emptied into a bowl and set on a nice and newly uncluttered buffet in the kitchen, couch cushions plumped, you get the picture. And then we did a final walk through, gathered up all our supplies, gave each other a big woohoo! and a high five and drove our tired asses home.
Later on in the evening I was thinking about the job, and I was really amazed at how good I felt about it. I never feel that excited about cleaning my own house. Why not? I suspect it's because I wasn't just working for myself, I was working for someone else, and the whole time we were working we both kept saying things like "oh I just can't wait till they get home and see this, they are going to be so happy!"And they were - they called my friend up and thanked us for everything, and raved about how great everything looked. Oh, and could we please email them a quick note to let them know exactly where we put away all the stuff we packed up - probably so they could look for it without looking like they were looking for it in front of his mother, oops!
Oh, and one more thing. It was nice to get paid too - both with compliments and cash.

C'Mon Get Happy

It must be because I watched Celebrity Apprentice last night. No, Donald Trump doesn't exactly make me happy, although I admit that I laugh every time I see his hair. It's a new season and one of the new apprentices happens to be David Cassidy. You know, of The Partridge Family? Hence the title of this post. Anyway, poor David is apparently not meant to succeed in the cut throat world of Mr. Trump's reality show, as he got fired at the end of last night's episode. But I got up this morning, and it was a beautiful clear sunny day, and as I was making the coffee I realized I was humming a little Partridge Family tune. Not such a bad thing. If fact, I'm feeling pretty sure that it was a major help in my keeping my sanity so far on this Monday morning. It was pretty typical around here, a couple of the girls dragging their feet, another doing last minute homework that they assured me was done every time I asked over the weekend. But it wasn't bringing me down. I was feeling pretty triumphant when we arrived at school, just in time, and as we got out, one of the girls water bottles fell out and rolled under the car. I told them to go on in and I would bring it after I retrieved it. As I walked around to the other side of the car, I saw to my surprise that one of my back tires was completely flat. Completely. As in could not have been any flatter. Huh. First things first though. I carried on and was crawling around in an attempt to reach the water bottle when I heard a bemused voice ask if needed some help. I looked up to see my brother in law watching me - his kids go to the same school as mine - so I said, sure! As he was crawling around trying to reach the elusive bottle he said something like this is a good way to start your day, and I laughed and said yeah, and I also have a flat tire too. So after he managed to grab the bottle, he then gallantly proceeded to dig out my spare and change my tire, which was really nice. Only slight problem was that the spare was almost as flat as the original. But I knew of a tire place just a few blocks away, so I figured I'd give it a try and headed off very very slowly on my funny little flat spare. I was certainly not popular with the traffic behind me by the time I made it to the tire man, but made it I did, driving practically on my rim by this time. However, it turned out that the tire man wasn't there. His father was manning the desk and told me his son had to go take one of his kids to the doctor...that sounds all too familiar! But he told me to just leave my car and they'd fix it when he got back and call me. So I handed over my key, and grabbed my coffee mug that I had fortuitously remembered to fill and bring with me, and started the walk back home. It was a little dusty as they are doing a serious amount of work down the hill from the road, getting ready to put a new highway by the river that will get the truck traffic out of our little neighborhood that has built up over the years. But regardless, it was a great morning for a walk. And now it's time for another one, as the tire man just called me to say he's back and my car is all good to go. And I have a feeling that I will be humming a little retro tune in my head all the way there, and that's just fine by me. Sorry you got fired last night Mr. Cassidy, but thanks for helping to keep me smiling this Monday morning!!

Robbed of sleep

Well, after yesterday's debacle of being robbed, I am now feeling definitely robbed of sleep. The police came and poked around, we called the alarm company and arranged for someone to come and see about setting up perimeter night vision cameras and so on, and then we locked everything up, set all the alarms and went to bed. All the while trying to pretend for the kids' sake that everything was normal - don't need to send them into panic mode too. Of course both my husband and I were awake most of the night I think. He was up prowling around with a baseball bat every time he even imagined he heard a noise. Meanwhile I was lying in bed most of the night trapped between him and our daughter Kate, who has the flu and wanted to sleep with me yet again, alternately being terrified that she was going to vomit on me, or that the snoring from both her and my husband would prevent me from hearing the sounds of yet another assault on our property. This morning I sit here sucking back coffee, trying to get my bleary head around all the upcoming appointments and events in the next few days. Meetings with the alarm company, the police, someone who hopefully wants to buy our little Audi, soccer practice, soccer team party, soccer jamboree, picking up my nieces along with my own kids at school, oh, and a play date for the twins. Also must remember to get quotes for house insurance that is due this month, return a birthday gift that the recipient already had and get replacement gift, and pick up a gift for one of my nieces whose birthday I have already missed. What else? Right, make sure everyone is fed and clothed in something that will pass for clean. And take care of my sick kid too, which will make the shopping portions of my to do list somewhat difficult. Guess those just may not get done. When all else fails, blame it on a sick kid. That works. I can blame my messy minivan on the thieves who rifled through it the other night, even though sadly I wouldn't probably have even noticed anything unusual in there other than my glove compartment being open. As for the rest of the list, I will make some phone calls, write it all down on the calendar, throw in a load of laundry, cross my fingers and hope for the best. First I definitely need more coffee...

Stop thief

Why do people take things that don't belong to them? Isn't that one of the first things we try to teach a child? How many of you out there got busted as a little kid stealing a candy  or a toy that Mom discovered when you got home from the store? I bet lots. It happened in my family - my little sister and brother got itchy fingers while grocery shopping with Mom and each helped themselves to a candy from the bulk bin. Mom spotted them after they were home, and back they all went to the store, and the kids had to give back the candy and say sorry to the store manager. Lesson learned. So obviously there must be a whole whack of people out there who either missed out on that lesson as kids, or for some reason it just didn't mean a damn thing to them. Because for the second time in a year, we were robbed last night. Someone came onto our property, which is quite private, and helped themselves to some things in our carport. Yes, I know. We shouldn't leave anything in the open, not locked up, and you'd think we'd really have learned that the hard way already, since it's happened once before not long ago. I guess I will blame the part of me that despite this second theft of my stuff still has a hard time believing that there really are bad guys out there, and obviously way to close to home. We live in a nice neighborhood, but why would I think that would put off would be thieves? "oh these folks all seem so nice and have such nice homes, let's not rob THEM..." and off they go to steal from who, the people who don't have anything? Again, I know, only myself to blame. Plus there is a ton of major construction going on as a new road is being built, so lots of people around who don't live here. Again, yet another reason for us to be more careful. And so we will be. We'll be locking things up extra tight from now on. But I still struggle with it, because it sucks that I have live like that, worry about my home, and the safety of my kids, all because there are people out there who have no respect for others, who didn't learn that it's not right to take from other people, and who don't give a shit.
Ah well. Keep calm and carry on, right? Maybe next time there will be nothing out for the thief to take except my husband's ancient smelly beast of a cadillac - oh sorry, I mean his special car. One can always hope...

the Oscars 2011

Is it just me, or was there a real lack of glamour at the Academy Awards this year? The whole show just seemed very unremarkable. I couldn't figure out what was missing at first, and then when I realized how thrilled I was at seeing Warren Beatty and Annette Bening, well, I asked myself, where are all the other MOVIE STARS? Okay, for those of you who don't know, yes, I had a huge crush on Warren Beatty when I was about 13. I even had a poster of him from Heaven Can Wait on my bedroom wall. What can I say? I had particular tastes, even then. But really. Other than an appearance by Kirk Douglas which I thought was pretty much the most entertaining presentation all night, where were all the other big stars? I'm talking the Meryl Streeps, the Jack Nicholsons, the Julia Roberts, Brad Pitt. You know who I'm talking about. The MOVIE STARS. Isn't that why we watch the show in the first place? I don't want to sit for 3 hours listening to people who act like humble, hardworking joes just doing a job. What is the point of the movies at all if not for the thrill of escape from reality???? Please. Give me your over the top actors every time, at least on that night of nights. It's supposed to be all about the glamour, the scandals, the gossip, offensive self indulgent speeches that drag on and on, never ending movie montages set to swelling movie scores, some outrageous choices of dress, and some DRAMA, am I right?? Ho hum, I have to conclude that it was indeed a very boring, beige event. Maybe next year they should just computer graphically insert some of the old hosts and presenters into the proceedings. Inject some life into the whole thing. At least invite some MOVIE STARS to come, for gods sake. Did they all take the night off to watch the show at home in their jammies? Booo.
Anyway, that's my take on this years Oscars. Next year, less humble mumblings, and more glitz and glamour please. Pass the popcorn.

Bullies - nature vs nurture??

We hear a lot about bullying these days. When I was a kid, we knew what a bully was, and yes, some us  were bullied. I myself was a target many times growing up - we moved a lot, from country to country, so I was often at the disadvantage of being the "new kid" who had a funny accent and weird clothes etc, plus I wore glasses throughout my entire childhood, and I had braces as a teenager...you get the picture. Somehow despite these obstacles I managed pretty well, and was never picked on for long before I had figured out a way to fit in. But I certainly didn't have any help from special programs at school, or rallies, or pamphlets, or books or seminars. So with all these new resources available and the fact that bullying is so in the news all the time, why does it seem that the problem of bullying has gotten far more serious than I remember it being when I was a kid?
Here's what I think. When I was a kid, and someone picked on you, you told your teacher, or your parent, or your big sister, and one of them went and kicked the crap out of the bully's parents, or the bully. Unless you were talking about a whole gang of bullies, in which case you were basically screwed and you just did your best to fly under the radar as much as possible with all the other little kids getting picked on. It was just one of those many rites of passage of childhood that we all survived and at least then we weren't alone. The problem is that now if you're a bully you can get away with just about anything. Because not only can no one get away with punishing you, such as a teacher, or another parent, your own parents most likely don't give a damn what you do to other kids anyway, and they certainly don't give a damn what your teacher thinks, or other kids parents think. So there is absolutely no one left to punish the bullies out there. And they know it, so they go to even greater extremes than they once did.
This is why I believe that the Young Offenders Act is a load of crap and should be thrown out. If kids know they cannot be punished and held accountable to anyone for their actions, of course they'll do whatever they damn well please! Duh! Isn't that like the basic first rule of parenting?? Actions and consequences?? Apparently not the first rule anymore. I suspect that this basic facet of raising your children must be completely missing from an appalling number of households out there, because how else do you explain why so many kids are growing up to be these horrible little monsters who have no respect for other people? They cannot all be born sociopaths. Therefore I believe it is the parents who are responsible, and the parents who should be held responsible along with their progeny for any heinous acts they commit which should be punishable by law.
Okay, so what should the consequences be? Some lawmakers out there need to come up with a family version of punishment for harassment. Do they get their house toilet papered and egged every Friday night? Do they get wedgies doled out on a daily basis? Do they have to supply a different child with their lunch money every day?
I don't know what the answer is, but it's about time we started figuring it out. Maybe what we need is a good old fashioned Anti Bullying super hero, a vigilante to take matters into their own hands and clean up this world. Wouldn't that be interesting? I know one thing - that's a super hero that I could believe in! What do you think? Any takers out there??

birthday parties

When did birthday parties change so much? I mean from when I was a kid? Honestly. We dressed up nice, took a present to someone's house, ate snacks their mom had made, played some goofy games, got a little loot bag and went home again. Now, you have to drive your kid an hour across town to some whacked kids gone wild type of place where the host parent pays a ton of money for someone else to provide some form of entertainment for the children, some crappy food, and meanwhile I have to hang around at a mall or find some other way to kill 2 hours, because it takes too long to drive all the way home, and then turn around and drive all the way back, and I have other things to do on a Saturday afternoon, like spend time with the rest of my family, and if they had just opted to have hot dogs and chips and play pin the tail on the donkey at their house that is next door to mine I could be home instead of wasting a ton of time and gas money on a child's birthday party. Sorry but I just don't get it. I throw all my kids birthday parties at our house. Always have. Yeah, I have to take a little time to plan things out, make sure I have food organized, some games ready to play. So what? It's my kids birthday. I want to celebrate it with them, spend some time with them and their friends. Isn't that the point? Kids don't really need that much else do they? It's one day a year, surely it's not that much to ask of a parent to put a little bit of time and energy into running a birthday party for their child. Sure sure, I hear you saying, but we don't have a big house, or we both work and don't have enough time. I think it's a cop out. It's just like everything else in society today, "instant". As in pick up a phone and hey presto, instant birthday party. I get that when the kids are a bit older maybe they want to go out for pizza, or to a movie with a couple friends, something like that. Okay, I can accept that. But when they are little like mine are - 7 and 8 year olds - I think a couple hours of fun at home is a good time. I put a little time into something like a scavenger hunt for my daughter's party last year when she turned 8, we made it an "Amazing Race" for the kids. And then just let them run and play and snack etc. My kids love to help come up with some fun stuff for the goody bags to hand out at the end. And they love helping figure out what games to play, what their party theme will be. And I love throwing the party with them. But I feel like I'm in the minority, and I don't get why. A couple years ago I mentioned to another parent that it was my daughters birthday party coming up, and she said "oh really, so where are you going?" and it took me a moment to understand her question. "Well, nowhere, actually, the party is at our house," I replied. "oh really, that's different. Good for you, "she answered back, leaving me trying to figure out what exactly that meant. I'm sure part of it, maybe a big part is that although the party is supposed to be for the kids, more and more it seems possible that it is actually for the parents, as in who can come up with a bigger better version of the birthday party than the last one the kids went to. Hmmmm. So is that it, a combination of keeping up with the Jones's and just sheer laziness, not wanting to take the time to put the party on yourself? That sounds pretty awful. I'm sure there are plenty of parents out there who would take great offense to my opinions on this. That's okay, it is just my opinion, after all. They are just as entitled to theirs as I am to mine. Just please don't expect to drive my kid across town bearing gifts to your kids birthday parties any more - if that's how you want to throw your parties, the least you could do is provide transportation. And that's all I have to say about that!