Easy button.

I want an easy button. You know, that big red button you get to push when whatever it is you are trying to accomplish just becomes too overwhelming, and you just can't take it any more. And if could have one, I would swear to use it for just one purpose. I would willingly slog through every other thing that comes my way, if I just have the easy button for this one thing. What am I talking about? The LAUNDRY. I know, I know, just the other day I said I hated trying to figure out what to make for dinner. True. However, the upside of that chore is that once you DO figure it out, all you have to do is cook, and the task is complete. With laundry, the job is never done, you never get to the finish line, it just goes on and on and on.  And I swear to god or whatever almighty thing may be out there in the universe that there is a conspiracy by my family to make my laundry nightmare as complicated as possible. So here are my list of laundry rules that I would like to try to live by, since I suspect that easy button aint coming my way. In fact, I think I am going to print them out, laminate them and post them somewhere I know everyone will notice  -  like the tv.

First, if you get up in the morning and notice you are out of underwear, turn your last pair inside out, gather up your dirty pairs, take them to the laundry room and then ask me nicely if I would mind washing them. I can do that. However, what I cannot do is magically make a clean pair appear for you right now this second, and sorry but I refuse to go through everyone's dressers on a daily basis in order to monitor the levels of your clean underwear. In my books, if you are old enough to put on your own clean underwear and pronounce the word underwear, you are old enough to figure out when you are about to run out of underwear. This rule of course applies to my husband as well.
Second, if your clothes are dirty, please put them in your hamper. Do not put them back in your dresser, or drop them on the floor, or hide them in the back of your closet, or place them ambiguously on a chair or on top of a dresser. Then I have to play the "is this dirty?" game, which usually involves having to smell said clothes, and that can turn out to be quite gross.
If you try something on and decide not to wear it, PUT IT AWAY AGAIN. If I give you a stack of neatly folded clean clothes to put away, PUT THEM AWAY. Please. In your dresser.
And lastly, if I accidentally wash a red sock with your whites, and turn all your underwear pink, I am sorry. Look on the bright side - at least you have CLEAN underwear, right?

If this works, I'll let you know. I'll frigging patent it, make a million bucks, and hire someone else to do my laundry for the rest of my life. Now THAT would just be too easy, wouldn't it?