the marital bed

Yes, I'm going to stand up and say it. Why on earth do we continue to attempt to sleep in the same beds as our spouses night after night? Let me be perfectly clear. I am not referring to the sexual side of the marital bed, not at all. Get it on whenever you can, and all the power to you, especially if you are trying to squeeze it in(ha, so to speak) between nocturnal visits from your kids. But other than that, what are we thinking? Let's face it. Unless you are the uber perfect couple from another planet, at least one person in each partnership snores or grinds their teeth or flails around all night whacking the other person periodically in the head or talks in their sleep(or if you're my husband, yells, laughs, and carries on lengthy conversations) and so on. You all know what I'm talking about.  I mean, when Lucy and Desi had twin beds in their room, we assume that it because back in the day the networks couldn't show a couple sharing a queen size mattress together, heaven forbid. But now I am thinking that maybe they were actually on to something. I however would venture that we take it a step further. I will go out on a limb here and say that I believe every adult should have their own master suite. Really, can you imagine? Wouldn't that be great - dare I say fanfrickingtastic? But it rarely happens. Why? Because no matter how desperate we are to get a good night's sleep, we don't want to hurt the other person's feelings by making them think we don't want to be near them. When in reality, we really don't want to be near them, WHEN WE ARE TRYING TO SLEEP. Why is that such a bad thing? I cannot tell you how many times my husband and I have both lost sleep because one us has put a pillow over the face of the other one who is snoring, causing that person to wake up and wonder loudly why there is a pillow over their face...and then we're both awake, and crabby and you all get the picture. So we should just each have our own rooms. Think about it, we could each decorate to our own tastes, so if you're a girly girl it won't matter to your husband if you want frilly pink pillow shams anymore, and he could watch Sportsnet all night long if he wants to in his man bedroom/cave. I think it's a win win no matter how you look at it.
Okay, but here's the tricky part. See, we are a very busy couple. Like most people we know, our life is full. By the time we are done with work, dinner, soccer, homework, fixing broken plumbing, cleaning up the dirty dishes, making lunches for the next day etc etc etc, it's pretty late in the evening. So our quality time together tends to spent in bed for the last hour before we crash for the night. And there's the problem.  We both finally relax and indulge in our favorite evening past time together - watching the Real Housewives and the Food Network, come on, get your minds out of the gutter - and then eventually fall asleep. If we had our own rooms, which one of us is getting up to go there before we fall asleep and which one of us gets to stay put? Do we have to work out a  schedule, take turns? See, because now it sounds like maybe just too much work, one more thing to pencil in and organize. So until I figure out how to teleport from one room to another, I suspect the marital bed will remain shared, and we will just have to stock up on Breathe Right strips and earplugs. Good night!